TWFE housekeeping notes

Considering that there will be October baseball in this town, I have a feeling we all will have plenty to say, and write about, over the next several days. It's going to be damn fun! Expect plenty of activity.

So speaking of that, I wanted to apologize for the sporatic posting recently, as some medical issues got in the way. All is relatively well, in case anyone was wondering. Arthritis blows, people...

It will continue to be quiet at TWFE HQ over the weekend. I'll be at the Tiger game tomorrow, hoping for a Central division clinching victory. Which may actually happen with a victory tonight, from looking at the current score of the White Sox - Twins game. Clinch tonight or tomorrow, either works for me. But I digress...

Anyway, I'll be away from the PC till late tomorrow, possibly Monday.

One more housekeeping note. Let me give a quick shout out to the sponsor of The Wayne Fontes Experience, BETUS.com. Click on the sidebar link, and lay down a couple of sheckels on the MLB playoffs, folks!

Thanks for reading!

A personal message from Matt Millen

I'm sure you've heard by now now that I cut Corey Bradford. Even though I talked him up as the perfect complimentary veteran receiver, and mentor to the young wide outs, when I signed him. The Bradford signing ended up being nothing more than a waste of over $2 million in salary cap space. He sucked more than a Hoover. Bradford got lost while running routes, wasn't bright enough to learn the offense, and couldn't catch a cold, let alone a pass. When undrafted rookie wide receivers from directional state colleges are higher than one of your prize free agent signings on the depth chart... Well, what more can you say?

I know just what you are thinking. "Joey Blue Skies. Bill Schroeder. Fernando Bryant. Charles Rogers. There's been too many Millen signed stiffs to count. Now add Corey Bradford to the list. That God damn assclown Millen screwed up. AGAIN. Why don't the Fords' fire his sorry ass?! FIRE MILLEN!"

Lion fans, there's something I should tell you. I need to confess. I can't keep it a secret anymore. It's been bothering me for over 5 years now. I think you know what I'm going to say, but here goes...

I'm full of shit. Totally. I don't know what in the Hell I'm doing. I'm clueless. I have absolutely no idea how to run an NFL franchise. None whatsoever. I'm doing this with smoke and mirrors. I show up every day, and I just sit there. I don't know what in God's name I should be doing. When I do decide to make a move, it blows up in my face. I SUCK as a general manager. I BLOW as the Lions' president. You know it, the media knows it, the rest of the NFL knows it, I know it.

The problem is a simple one. I'm just not that bright.

You need some examples?

You want to know who is my most trusted advisor? My magic 8-ball.

Who helps me make draft decisions? I use my ouija board to contact Russ Thomas. Russ is a real nice guy, by the way. Gives good advice.

How did I make the decisions to hire Marty Morninwheg and Steve Mariucci? Dart board.

Free agent signings? Well, I have to say that's been all me. I used the ratings in Madden 2004. My bad.

But fellas, I have to tell you, it's not my fault. NOT. MY. FAULT. You can't pin 5 years of Hell on your favorite punching bag. No way! You want someone to blame? Billy Jr. and William Clay Ford, that's who. This is the Fords' fault! You think I'm crazy enough to turn down the millions of dollars Billy and WC offered me? I may be dumb as a box of rocks, but I ain't stupid.

I told the Fords that my IQ was lower than a bag of hammers. That I was as dim as a 20 watt bulb. That I took one too many shots to the head. My ears ring all the time. I forget stuff. I'm punchy. I wasn't qualified. They didn't care. They told me they wanted a big name. So I went for the cash, just like any of you would. I signed my X on the dotted line.

Lion fans, I apologize for taking the money and running the Lions into the ground. At least I get to run all the way to the bank. I have trouble counting that high, but from all the zeros on my check, I think I'm now rich. Not that it makes you guys feel any better, but dumb guys have a wife and kids to support too.

So as this season goes straight to Hell, don't blame me. Pity me, for I know not what I do.

Tags: Detroit, Detroit Lions, Matt Millen, NFL, football

Inside Millen's brain: I resolve...

WC and Billy Jr. aren't too happy with our 0-3 start. They wanted to know what I was going to do about it. I resolved to make a list to give them. So I came up with an action plan as to how I'm going to right the Lions ship.

1. I resolve to actually read our scouting reports on this years draft class, not just Mel Kiper's online. I've been getting ripped by everyone, because they all say my drafts haven't been too good. I think I know what happened. I didn't know I had our own scouting reports. I would get a binder from the scouting department, and the cover would say "For Your Eyes Only." I thought they were trying to give me the script for that lousy James Bond movie, so I'd toss it. I mean, it was a Roger Moore one! If they had put "Thunderballs" on the cover, then I might have read them.

So I figured that paying for ESPN's "Insider" would give me more than enough info to run a draft. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that the only page I bookmarked in the draft section was the page that rated college wide receivers. Ooops... At least I got to read all of Bill Simmons' archived columns. He's so funny! Almost as funny as Marty! Hee! I love it when he writes about "The OC" and "The Realist World." They're my favoritest shows ever. Hee!

VII. Sgt. Marinelli is always talking about "Details." When I talked to the Sarge during the preseason, he yelled, "Private Pyle, are you taking care of the DETAILS, maggot?" He's big on details, you know? So I subscribed to "Details" magazine. I didn't realize that he was talking about making sure I was doing the little things, like reading those scouting reports. So I resolve to cancel my "Details" subscription. It'll give me more time to read those reports. It takes a long time to read them when you have to sound out the big words out loud.

BC. I was talking to Killer Kowalski the other day. The Killer thought I needed help in the player finding departmement, because it takes me so long to read those reports. I asked Killer what I should do, and he said that I should hire Hughes.

So I called John Hughes. I loved "The Breakfast Club" and "Pretty in Pink," I figured the Killer did too. I really identified with Ducky, he should have gotten Molly Ringwald at the end of "Uncle Buck." But why call my most favoritest movie guy? I did, and you know what? He wouldn't even return my calls. John Hughes did send me something called a "Restraining order," though. Then I read today's paper, and Killer wrote that I should hire Ron Hughes. Ooops... He was talking about that Hughes. I resolve to call the Pittsburger team, and see what's up. If I can't get Hughes, maybe I can get Charlie Batch back.

<:{>. At Mike Williams' last weigh in, he was at 262 pounds! Damn him, he gained 3 pounds. When I confronted him, Big Mike said something about Charles Rogers, the "Chronic" and "Fluffernutters," that's why he was so heavy. How can you be chronically addicted to fluffernutters? I think that's what he was talking about, anyway. Thank Al Davis we cut Chuck! He was such a bad influence on Big Mike.

So I resolve to act as Big Mike Williams' food cooking guy. A "Noo-trit-in-ist" I think it's called. I checked into those food addiction programs for Big Mike, but they're only 12 steps? That's not enough of a workout! I was looking at one of those magazines with the big pitcures, and I saw an ad for the Trim-spa. Anna Nichole Smith said such good things about the Trim-spa, and she's HOT! So Big Mike is getting the Trim-spa morning, noon, and night. I'll get him down to his playing weight, 250, if it kills him.

5. I resolve to make more to-do lists more oftener. I have trouble remembering things, like how many wide receivers we have on the roster. The docs said something about post concussion syndrome. I didn't know what that was, and they said it's like being punch drunk. They suggested I write everything down, so I don't make so many mistakes. So that's what I'm going to do.

5. I resolve to make more to-do lists more oftener. I have trouble remembering things, like how many wide receivers we have on the roster. The docs said something about post concussion syndrome. I didn't know what that was, and they said it's like being punch drunk. They suggested I write everything down, so I don't make so many mistakes. So that's what I'm going to do.

Tags: Detroit, Detroit Lions, Matt Millen, NFL, football

TWFE lists the biggest gags jobs ever...

1. Michigan State giving up 19 straight 4th quarter points to lose to the evil that is Notre Dame, 40-37.


Might as well stop here , because I've never seen a bigger choke in my life. To lose that game is bad enough, but to allow the damn Golden Domers to crow about another legendary comeback?

That's just unforgivable...

Tags: Michigan, Michigan State, NCAA, football

No need for EVERYBODY to PANIC!!! - Time to retire the panic button edition

If you had asked me about the possibility of the Tigers making the playoffs back in April, you would have gotten the Jim Mora style reply of...

"Playoffs? Don't talk about playoffs. Are you kidding me? Playoffs?"

I would have been more than happy with an 81 win season. I wanted .500. That's all. I was expecting baby steps towards respectability. To think that the Tigers would take giant leaps instead, rather than baby steps? No way in Hell I thought that possible.

I thought wrong.


All the Chicken Littles were predicting one of the biggest collaspes of all time. That there was no way that this team could finish. I could care less at this point if the Tigers end up winning the division, as the primary objective has been achieved, playing significant games in October. Still, I'm greedy. I want to see them with the best record in the AL, and having home field advantage. I want //gag// Tim McCarver being a pompous ass while calling Tiger games from Comerica at midnight in 30 degree weather. I want it all. But I'm thrilled with what we got...


It's all gravy for Tiger fans from here on out. The boys in the Olde English D are now playing with house money. The Tigers aren't a juggernaut, but they have enough pitching to make some postseason noise. We can't ask for more than that...

But for now, I'm absolutely estatic. The Tigers will be 1 of only 8 teams playing after Sunday. Holy shit! I still can't believe it! It even got a tad dusty in the room while watching the Tigers celebrate. Celebrating a playoff berth was something that I was not sure that I'd ever see our baseball team do again. So forgive this long time Tiger fan getting just a little emotional watching his favorite team finally rise from the ashes.


Next year's expectations will be something else entirely, and the team does have issues. But that's a discussion for the offseason, which is, hopefully, a long time off. The 2006 Tigers, flaws and all, are a playoff team.

Now is the time on TWFE when we retire the "Panic Button!"

Tags: Detroit, Detroit Tigers, MLB, baseball, playoffs

Fun with logos

The Official Seal Generator is entirely too much fun...

Friday afternoon musings...

Come on Tigers, win a couple of games. Please? Just end the damn suspense already. String together a few wins, relegate the Twins to the wild card, and win the flipping Central! If the Tigers can't beat the Royals and Blue Jays, at the very least, 6 out of 10, they don't deserve the division crown. They are a playoff team, but they aren't exactly inspring much confidence in their post season chances with losses like yesterday's debacle.

The Red Wings exhibition season started? Who knew? Sorry hockey fans, but I'm finding it awful hard to even think about the NHL right now. When it comes to the Wings, I only have one question. When do the playoffs start?

The Ryder Cup began this morning. In the middle of the night, around 3:30 am eastern time, actually. Despite what NBC would like you to think, if you were going by the coverage on the USA Network today. I despise big events being broadcast on a tape delay. Show the damn thing live! Someone needs to remind the suits at the networks that we can get the results almost instantaniously on the web. I've not seen a single graphic stating that the event is on a delay. So why pretend they are broadcasting the Ryder Cup live? Speaking of the Ryder Cup...

Anyone else expecting anything other than a massive choke job from the American team? The defining term from all the golf experts in regard to the US players is SOFT. PGA golfers are spoiled beyond belief. They play under über-perfect conditions, and are teated like pampered kings via tournament handouts and freebies. Let alone your average player can make serious coin on tour for just being "Good enough." Where's the incentive for a 2nd tier player to improve?

Look at the current PGA Tour money leaders. In 71st place is a journeyman's journeyman, Steve Flesch. He has NOT won a title this season, but has made $1,023,611. The money list is interesting read, if only for the amazing amount of nobodies who are in the 35% tax bracket. Camilo Villegas has made $1,712,697. John Senden? Only $1,551,232. Ryuji Imada is a relative pauper at $895,534. I have a question. Who in the living HELL are these guys?

Is it any wonder the Americans aren't embarressed by having their asses handed to them every 2 years? PGA Tour players live on a planet which we public course players can only dream of. These guys don't have a care in the world, other than if their courtesy car will be a Mercedes or a Buick at the next PGA event.

Will the Wolverines avoid a let down against Wisconsin? You know what all Michigan fans have to thinking. Which game, against an inferior Big 10 team, do they find a way to blow? Honestly, I doubt it's Wisconsin. They have a score to settle, to avenge last year's loss. Honestly, maybe that's the one good thing about coming off of a 5 loss season, the Wolverines have several payback games on the schedule. Hopefully we won't see that game where Michigan takes a team for granted, and loses the game, the respect of the nation, and their Big 10 title/BCS appearance/National title hopes.

Michigan has the opportunity this season to be, once again, considered a program that is one of the elite of the elite. I know, I know, they ARE Michigan, and should be considered a top program, no matter what. But you have to admit there have been way too many 3-4 loss seasons recently for a program of Michigan's stature. U of M needs to remind the media and fans that they do belong in that group, or more correctly, never left.

And please, stop bringing up 1997. In relative terms, that was eons ago. Kids that are playing college ball now were in elementary school then. Things change, you can't keep looking back, but need to look forward. How have things changed? Charles Woodson is no longer an All-World corner, he's a journeyman hanging on with the Packers. In other words, things have changed, changed enormously. The Michigan fan base needs to move on from 1997. Let's hope this Wolverine squad can make some new memories...

Tags: Detroit, Michigan, Detroit Tigers, Detroit Red Wings, Ryder Cup, Michigan Wolverines

Chicago White Sox, R.I.P.

The Chicago White Sox are no more. Like the remarkable Norwegian Blue, they aren't resting, they're stone dead. They're bleedin' demised, and definitely deceased. They're pinin' for the fjords, and pushin' up the daisies. They have ceased to be, expired and gone to meet their maker. They're a stiff, bereft of life, resting in peace. Their metabolic processes are now history. The White Sox have kicked the bucket, shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain, and joined the choir invisibile. The Sox are an ex-champion... (Apologies to Monty Python, and dead parrots everywhere...)

The knife the Tigers stuck in the Sox's playoff chances on Monday, was shoved in deeper, and then twisted, last night. The playoff chances of the White Sox went from infinitesimal to non-existent. Couldn't happen to a nicer team.

Opposition coaches and the umpires owe the Tigers a hearty thank you and pat on the back for saving them from the White Sox's white trash fan base.


Is anyone going to miss the mouth of Ozzie Guillen?


Or Chicago's tabloid media, led by the handsomely deplorable Jay Mariotti?


How about Tiger killer Joe Crede? How fitting was that to have him end the game with a double play?


The Tigers did everyone a big time favor by eliminating baseball's the world's biggest douchebag, A.J. Cheaterynski.


No one, absolutely no one, is going to miss Bobby "Cane Toad" Jenks...


(Cane toad and picture courtesy of Sam at Roar of the Tigers)

The White Sox time of death was aproximately 11 pm EDT on 9/20/2006. Cause of death was via bludgeoning with home runs, and overwhelming pitching from the opposition. A lack of timely hitting and declining pitching was a contributing factor in their passing.

We won't have the Chicago White Sox to kick around anymore. They won't be missed.

Why Detroit sports talk radio blows: Reason #19

I'm several IQ points dumber today, thanks to noted hack Drew "Not very" Sharp.

He has spent the last hour railing on the University of Michgan players dumping the Gatorade bucket on Lloyd Carr after the Notre Dame victory. "Not very" Sharp believes it was a display of how far he thinks the Wolverine program had fallen. In his moronic mind, the U of M equals Mid-American confrence quality.

Why waste his limited brain power on such a non-issue? Sharp must feel the need to deflect people from bringing up one of his dim-witted predictions, that the Tigers were not going to make the playoffs. Uh...Yeah. That "Expert" opinion sure is looking like it's on the money...

Come on, what's the big damn deal? A bunch of giddy college kids heartily celebrate their biggest victory since 2003, the first in South Bend in a decade, and Drew Sharp feels the need to literally piss all over it? Because HE thinks it was inappropriate? That "Gatorade dumping" should be saved for accomplishing a goal? That upseting the Irish isn't a huge accomplishment? That 18 year old kids aren't allowed an emotional release in support of their embattled coach? Not in the dull one's half baked opinion.

Stupidity, thy name is Drew Sharp.

Sharp should save his comtemptous and biased regurgitation for someone that deserves it, like Wobb Parker or the Detroit Lions.

The dull dumbass doesn't even bother to disguise his contempt for the Big 10 any more.

Tags: Michigan, Michigan Wolverines, Drew Sharp, radio, sports talk

EVERYBODY PANIC!!! - The Worldwide Leader is on the drugs edition

What's gotten into the the headline writers at the Worldwide Leader? As my dad might say, "They are on the drugs." Do they even look at the standings? The whole scenario is silly, as in the article that talks about the loss, it calls the White Sox postseason hopes "Faint." That's much closer to the truth.

The headline is laughable. If the Tigers are barely hanging on, just running on fumes, then what in the Hell are the White Sox running on? The obvious answer is, EMPTY.


Come on Bristol, even you clueless boneheads have to realize that the White Sox are on the verge of needing a miracle to make the playoffs. Wait...Let me correct myself, as I was wrong. The White Sox DO need a miracle to make the playoffs. The unwashed masses that is the White Sox fanbase are asking for divine intervention at this point.

You know why the Tigers lost last night? They faced a pitcher, Freddie Garcia, who is even hotter than the Twinkies. He's been so filthy over his last 2 starts, the 1927 Yankess wouldn't have had a chance against him. If Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig would have had trouble with Garcia, then the black hole of suck that is Neifi Perez didn't stand a chance.

The Tigers did what they needed to do in Chicago, win 1 game. The Gambler's win on Monday was the knife in the ChiSox's back. All that happened last night was that the Tigers didn't twist it. Yet. Jay Mariotti, and his poison pen, writing a gleeful obituary of the White Sox season could happen tonight.

But there are still Tiger fans, thanks to Detroit fishwrap sooper geeniuses like Wobb Parker, that are still in full on panic mode.

Even if the good guys lose tonight, there is nothing, I repeat, NOTHING, to panic about. When there are less than 2 weeks left in the season, I'll take losing 1 game in the standings, while having 3 games come off the schedule. At that rate, the Tigers could lose their playoff seeding sometime late in the divisional round...

Yes, the damn Twins are only a half game back. I would much prefer the Tigers win the division. Despite all the bile eminating from Bristol and Wobb, you still have to consider the Tigers the favorites to win the Central. That's even if they lose the division lead over the next day or 2, which is entirely possible. Time, and the schedule, are both in the Tigers favor.

Everyone, just relax. RELAX!

Is this stretch of winning 1, then losing 2, frustrating? Without question. But that was why we were so giddy when the Tiger had stretched their lead to 10 games. That lead would allow them quite a bit of wiggle room as the season wore on. They have needed every bit of that once massive lead.

This is a typical pennant race, for those of you that are too young to have lived through one. Even if your nerves are jangled, and your blood pressure spikes because of a Tiger loss, think back to last year. Last year, when we totally ignored the Tigers, and obsessed over the awful Lions. Talking about good and bad Tiger playoff scenarios is infinitely better than discussing anything about the ship of fools that is our Detroit Lions.

So just take your finger off the panic button, and walk away...

Enjoy the next few weeks. There's nothing better than your team being in a pennant race. And the Tigers will make the playoffs, maybe as the wildcard, maybe as the Central champs. Of course, that's barring divine intervention, or the ghost of Gene Mauch.

Tags: Detroit, Detroit Tigers, Chicago White Sox, ESPN, MLB, baseball

Kenny Rogers, American League MVP? How about the Cy Young?

I wanted to say something about the suddenly surging (Can you call 4 out of 6 a surge?), and likely playoff bound, Tigers. Last night's beatdown of the White Sox was another HUGE win in what has been a great, great season.

Now the Tigers are on the verge of shutting the playoff door on the White Sox. They are still 1.5 games up on the hotter than Hades Twins. Amazingly, despite injuries to front line players, prolonged slumps, and playing in the best division in baseball, the Tigers remain in 1st. They hold their own playoff destiny, unkike the Twins and Sox. There's one reason, and one reason only, the Tigers are still in control of that destiny. That reason is actually a player. A player none of us thought would be so damn good.

The Gambler, Kenny Rogers.

Kenny Rogers has saved the Tigers' collective ass this season, last night just being the latest example. So that begs the question. Do the Tigers have a legitimate MVP or Cy Young candidate? Throughout the season, there has been all kinds of AL MVP and Cy Young talk. But the one constant most everyone had agreed upon was that the Tigers were making their run without a true candidate for either award. Turns out, the talk was wrong.

As the season as gone on, it's become clear, to me anyway, that Kenny Rogers has been the Tigers MVP. So why shouldn't he get some love in the AL MVP race? If not that, what about the Cy Young? Everone expected Rogers to fold like a cheap card table after the break. Save for a few starts after the All-Star game, which he started, by the way, Rogers has been money all season long. Just ask the White Sox...

Has there been a player more valuable, more important, a more stabilizing influence to his team than The Gambler? Without Rogers, the Tigers could have dropped out of first place. Without Rogers at the top of the rotation, the Tigers don't have a true number 1 starter. Without Rogers, the young starters may not have progressed as quickly. Without Rogers, the pitching load would have been carried by young arms that probably weren't ready for that kind of pressure. Without Rogers, the Tigers aren't a playoff team.

Rogers' resume is looking more and more impressive as the regular season comes to an end. The Gambler is 16-6, and the Tigers are 23-8 in his starts. Speaking of that, he hasn't missed a single start. He's a Gold Glove caliber fielder. Rogers also held the staff together during the August swoon.

Jeremy Bonderman has struggled mightily in the 2nd half. As great as Justin Verlander has been, and at his best he may have been the best in all of baseball, he's become somewhat inconsistent. He's now in uncharted territory, innings-wise. Nate Robertson has pitched very well, but just couldn't get the wins. But Rogers? He became the stopper the Tigers have long needed. When the Tigers absolutely had to have a win, The Gambler got it. Again, just ask the White Sox...

The Tigers' pitching is the clearcut reason they are in playoff contention. Who is the unquestioned leader of that staff? The Gambler, without question. That should win you something... Think about it. Kirk Gibson won an MVP award with stats that aren't as good as Rogers. So why not The Gambler?

Will Kenny Rogers win the MVP? No. The Cy Young? No. But is it a big stretch to think that he should be at least considered? Not at all. The team that could still end up with the best record in MLB deserves to get some award love, other than the "Rookie of the Year" award that Verlander has all but locked up.

Kenny Rogers deserves a little recognition for what, when you factor in how important his contributions have been to the Tigers' season overall, may be his career year. At the very least, the MSM should name The Gambler "Tiger of the Year."

Kenny Rogers, TWFE salutes you.

Tags: Detroit, Detroit Tigers, Kenny Rogers, MLB, baseball

With 14 games left to play, the Detroit Lions season is over

It doesn't take long for the knives to come out when it comes to the Lions. If a team ever deserved such slicing and dicing, it's our not so lovable losers that stink up Ford Field.

Mike Williams is unhappy. Pissed might be a better word. He's been most vocal with the local MSM, saying he's doing everything that is being asked of him, but Martz/Marinelli/Millen would rather play someone, anyone, but him. Currently above the number 10 pick in the 2005 draft on the depth chart are: Az Hakim, whose last productive season was in Madden 2002, Mike Furrey, who's a poor man's Ricky Prohl at best, and Eddie Drummond, whom I'm thrilled to see on the field...When he's returning kicks. Any other time, not so much. Yet an obviously more talented player rots on the bench, counting the days till he gets released. Deservedly or not, Mike Williams is on his way to joining a decades long line of Detroit Lion 1st round draft busts.

Roy Williams is...I don't know what Roy Williams is, other than delusional. He's become a quote machine, and does little more than give the opposition locker room bulletin board material. He's the latest poster boy for crazy ass wide receivers who have big mouths, then do little on the field. Other than silly 1st down histronics, that is... Roy has somehow managed to piss away any goodwill he had built up as the Lions most talented wide out, and has become a national laughing stock for his total cluelessness.

Shaun Rogers has lived up to, or should I say down to, his reputation. But he's gone from just taking plays off, to taking entire games off. Week one, Big Baby was a monster presence against the Seahawks. He looked like the best tackle in football. Week two? From looking at Rogers' stat line of 3 tackles and then nothing but zeros, he was anything but. Next week? Hell if I know, and I doubt the coaching staff does either.

They aren't the only players worth ridiculing. Kevin Jones? He looks like a good runner, but the stats don't lie. The last 18 games worth of stats. Jon Kitna? The stats look good, but he hasn't come close to throwing a TD pass. In his case, the scoreboard doesn't lie. The linebacking core? Can't stay healthy, or make a play. The offensive line? Offensive to one's senses. In those cases, the eyes don't lie.

The coaching hasn't been any better.

Rod Marinelli spent his 2nd presser stonewalling. It was nothing more than his taking "Repsonsibility" for the results in Chicago, saying that they needed to work on those pesky "Details" the Sarge is constantly going on about, and talking in circular gibberish in regard to any questions about Mike Williams' status. I'm quickly losing patience with Marinelli's tough guy disciplinarian act.

First off, he's talking out of both sides of his mouth. Marinelli continually says that he'll play the players who give him the best chance of winning. So how to explain Az Akim getting in the stadium, let alone snaps? He's a better player than Mike Williams? Robin Williams, maybe. The more I think about it, maybe not. What you cannot say, with a straight face, is that Az Akim is better than Mike Williams.

Then we have the naked drunk exhibitionist defensive line coach, Joe Cullen. He's still coaching. Huh? OK...I can see not firing him, as he needs serious help, and the Lions don't want litigation. But wouldn't a leave of absence be a better idea? Pay off his contract, and send him on his naked way? But letting him continue to coach? I guess the Sarge thinks that the possibility of Cullen flashing his wang anywhere, anytime is definitely more condusive to a winning atmosphere...

Has Marinelli's bluster improved anything? Maybe the press confrences, but on the field? I still see silly penalties, an unproductive offense, and a defense that can't get off the field on 3rd down. Up to this point, the Sarge constantly contradicts his words by his actions. He comes off as someone in over his head.

If this ship of fools called the Detroit Lions can't beat the washed up Brett Farve and the Packers, then who in the Hell will they beat? They are already 2 games down in the NFC North. This season, for all intents and purposes, is already over, as this is NOT a playoff team. I'm not sure the Lions are a NFL team.

Tags: Detroit, Detroit Lions, Rod Marinelli, Roy Williams, Mike Williams, NFL, football

EVERYBODY PANIC!!! - The Worldwide Leader says we should edition

If the Worldwide Leader says that EVERYBODY PANIC!!! is the order of the day, then it must be so, correct? Or should I say, boo-yah? Sorry to throw this in the face of the boneheads in Bristol, but...No. There's no reason to panic, unless you are some manic drunk on a message board.

The column mentions that the local MSM is now in full panic mode, giving them the basis for the article. That's all well and good, but that's the same local MSM that was praising the Lions to high heaven a week ago. That's the normal cluelessness we get from the Detroit fishwraps and sports rant radio. So take any opinion based upon the lunatic ravings of a Wobb Parker, Drew "Not so" Sharp, or The Little Fella, with a very large grain of salt.

Sure, it goes without saying that this is a HUGE series with the ChiSox. HUGE is an understatement. It's this week's "Biggest Series of the Year!" But if the Tigers win just one game, just one lousy game, in Chicago, the best that the Sox can do is be 4 back with 10 to play. That's with the Sox having to play the uncomfortably close to taking over the Central lead Twins 3 times to end the season, let alone 3 games with the offensively scary Tribe.

At the same time, the Tigers have 7 games against bottom dwelling teams playing out a very long string, the Orioles and Royals. Just head over to Mack Avenue Tigers for the full lowdown. You'll suddenly feel much better about the Tigers, and their chances...

The Marlboro Man puts it bluntly...

"There's no panicking," he says. "We're either good enough, or we're not. I don't think we've seen any players panicking. We have no excuses. We're either good enough or we're not."

The Tigers aren't great, but they're good enough. Good enough to get to the playoffs.

You have to really like the Tigers winning, at the very least, the wild card. Considering the Sox and Twins will be beating each other to a pulp, you have to like their Central chances as well. Will I be disappointed if the Tigers lose the divison to the Twins? Damn straight. But still winning the wild card? I'll be thrilled to grab it, run like Hell, and meet you the postseason.

That's more than any of us would have dreamed of before the season started. Division winner, wild card winner, I don't care. Just get into the playoffs, dammit, even by backing in. Just get there. The Tigers' chances in a short series are as good as any other team.

Do I wish the Tiger bats were smoking hot? Even slightly lukewarm? Of course! I'd feel better about everything if the Tigers could only hit their own weight. But...I'll be more than happy if you give me their pitching staff in the playoffs. I'll take my chances, and feel pretty good about them.

So push the panic button? Pshaw...


But if, God help us all, the White Sox sweep? Then I think we'll be worried about much more than just pushing panic buttons.

Tags: Detroit, Detroit Tigers, Twins, White Sox, ESPN, MLB, baseball

If it's all about the "Details," then the Sarge must have missed a few...

7 points.

14 penalties.

3 turnovers.

1 missed field goal.

46 yards rushing.

6 sacks by the Bears.

1 defensive touchdown called back because of a stupid penalty by a brain dead Jamar Fletcher.

The Lions' offense was embarassingly ineffective.

Rex Grossman (Rex F'n Grossman?) was embarrsingly effective.

Roy Williams foolishly guaranteeing a victory, then acting like a total ass on the field after he made a catch.

The Bears beat up the Lions in every phase. Beat them up on offense. Defense. Special teams. Coaching. Physically. Mentally. Am I missing anything? Oh yeah, the Bears beat the Lions on the most important thing of all, the scoreboard.

34 - 7 says it all.

After watching that debacle, I think Rod Marinelli missed more than a few "Details." I think he missed everything, including the boat. At least the Sarge took total responsibility for the Lions ineptitude after the game, much as the catptain of the Titanic took responsibility. Just like that captain of the Titanic, Marinelli is in charge of a sinking ship. That Matt Millen built ship of fools called the Detroit Lions.

What more can you say about today's game? It was an awful performance, by an awful team, and it's going to be an awful long season. Again.

Tags: Detroit, Detroit Lions, Chicago Bears, NFL, football

47 - 21

You know that hysterical post from earlier today? The post about Michigan finding strange ways to lose in South Bend? The post that said Lloyd Carr was an unarmed man in a battle of coaching wits?


Uh...Never mind.

Where has THAT Michigan team been hiding for the past few years? You know, the Wolverines with a big play offense, and an agressive defense? Much like the 1997 team? I'm thrilled to see that version of the Wolverines return. Finally...

To spank Notre Dame, to embarass them in front of the "Touchown Hippie," in front of their cocky ass fanbase, during a nationwide broadcast on the Notre Dame Brodcasting Company, was as sweet of a Michigan win we've seen in a long, long time.

Thank you Lloyd, I'm more than happy to eat my words...

Tags: Michigan, Michigan Wolverines, Notre Dame, Lloyd Carr, NCAA, college football

Michigan plays Notre Dame at 3:30. I expect to be in a funk by 7

I hate Notre Dame. Why? Christ, where do you start?

The Notre Dame Broadcasting Company. "Rudy." Ron Powlus will win 3 Heisman Trophies. Lou Holtz and his lisp. 51 yard field goals as time expires, as monsoon like winds suddenly die down. A walk-on kicking what seemed like 10 field goals. Wolverine national title hopes dashed repeatedly. Blowout losses. Close losses. Unbelievable losses. As if I need a reason to despise Notre Dame, all of the above are like piling on.

So yes, I despise Notre Dame. I guess as a Michigan fan, that's to be expected. Encouraged, even.

Hating the Domers is easy to do, as bad things happen to the Wolverines when they play the Irish. Bad things, man... Other than tOSU, I cannot think of another program that has broken the hearts and minds of Wolverine fans more than the team that plays under that "Touchdown Hippie" character. Thing is, games against the Bucknuts rarely have such bizzare twists and turns that the matchups with the Domers do. Just say the names Reggie Ho, Tim Brown, Rocket Ishmael, Harry Oliver, to name just a few, and your typical Michigan fan goes into convulsions.

So you can guess why I'm not expecting the Wolverines to win. Michigan coaches, going back to the God-like, yet flawed, Bo, seem to have major brain cramps when going up against the all that is evil in college football Irish. I don't see this trend ending today. I can guarantee that Lloyd Carr, despite everything he has said prior, will go into his ultra-conservative shell, and play "Not to lose." Which generally means they will... When it comes to Lloyd changing his football philosophy, I NEED to see it, to believe it. In other words, in a battle of wits with Charlie Weis, Lloyd is an unarmed man...

Factor in that so far this season the Wolverine passing offense has shown...nothing. God forbid something happens to Mike Hart. (Like the hamstring injury in last years game) It may be up to the Michigan defense to win the game. That's asking quite a bit. Maybe the impossible.

3 weeks into the season, and the Wolverines face a must win game. A must win game against a team that the Wolverines, more often than not, find a way to snatch deafeat from the jaws of victory. Not the most original platitude, but is there a more true one when discussing the Irish - Wolverine rivalry?

So...What do I think is going to happen in South Bend today?

Lloyd will have a brain cramp or 10.
Chad Henne will channel his inner John Navarre.
Mike Hart will look like a Heisman contender. Then strain (name a muscle group) in the 2nd quarter.
Notre Dame will get every benefit of the doubt from the officials.
Charlie Weis will be designated greater than Knute, Ara, and Lou combined, by the Notre Dame Broadcasting Company.
Weird things happen against the Irish, espcially when playing under the "Touchdown Hippie." Expect the Irish to win on a drop kick, a rouge, a 75 yard field goal, or some other nonsense.

Is it possible that Michigan can do the unthinkable, and actually win? Hey, stranger things have happened...

Tags: Michigan, Michigan Wolverines, Notre Dame, NCAA, football

We'd like to welcome a new sponsor to TWFE

If you have to scratch your gambling itch, and I know that MANY of us do, please make sure to visit BETUS.com for all of your sportsbook and casino gaming needs. On a personal note, I'd like to thank the folks at BETUS.com for joining forces with TWFE.

Now go place a bet!

Matt Stairs?

I doubt that the Tigers' pickup of Matt Stairs is the solution to what ails them.

But adding a known Tiger killer, who's patient, relatively powerful, left handed, and will do nothing but be a platoon DH? It sure as Hell can't hurt...

Tags: Detroit, Detroit Tigers, Matt Stairs

TWFE sells out: The phone arrives

Sprint wasn't BSing me. My Sprint Ambassador program Fusic phone arrived at 10am sharp. It's only been one week since they first contacted me, and I now have an unlimited use free phone in my grubby little hands. If you want to impress me, the faster the swag arrives, the better. Way to go, Sprint!

The operation manual is as thick as "Atlas Shrugged," and not much more interesting. But Sprint was kind enough to photocopy a quick start manual, which allowed me to...turn on the phone. A mighty accomplishment in itself, if you ask me.

Even funnier, once I called the home phone to find out what my cell number was, it came up as a call from Rodrigo Villeda? So if you see Rodrigo on your caller ID, don't worry, it's just Big Al.

I'll have much more later in the weekend, as I figure out this new fangled technology. I need to start reading Ayn Rand the manual...

And if any other Fortune 1000 companies are reading, TWFE is willing to continue to sell out. Just make a good offer. Despite what you might think, I do have standards. To include TWFE in your viral marketing schemes, my email is in the sidebar, guys...

Tags: Sprint, Sprint Ambassador, cell phone, viral marketing

Do I have beefs? Yes, I have beefs...

What's my beef? Well, since you asked...

Here are the Tiger stats for the black hole of suck that is Neifi Perez.

G:15 AB: 48 Hits: 8 AVE: .167 SLG: .167 OBP: .216

Why is this clown even in the major leagues, let alone starting games for a first place team? Neifi makes Ramon Santiago look like Babe Ruth in comparison. I've given the Marlboro Man the benefit of the doubt with nearly every managerial decision he's made so far this season. Deservedly so. But Leyland's continuing to give Neifi Perez significant playing time is absolutely unforgivable. Perez has no business of being within 50 miles of a MLB ballpark. No, 100 miles...

Unfortunately, the Tigers biggest trade deadline aquisition, Sean Casey, hasn't been much better.

G: 38 AB: 128 Hits: 29 AVE: .227 SLG: .320 OBP: .261

I'm kicking myself for prasing this trade. Considering Casey has been the Tigers everyday first baseman, playing a position that requires big time production, that is an awful stat line. Casey got off to a torrid start in his first 2 weeks as a Tiger. But he has tailed off so badly, fans are begging the Cigarette Smoking Man to have Casey bunt when men are on base, as he has become a rally killing double play hitting machine.

If the Tigers don't make the playoffs, the fact that Dave Dombrowski couldn't obtain an impact bat at the trade deadline will be one of the main reasons as to why. As much as I would have hated to give up Cameron Maybin, Alfonso Soriano most likely would have clinched the division title for the Tigers. You'd have to think that his bat could have won a few extra games. Word was that Soriano was going to play 1st base down the stretch. Unfortunately, instead of one of the most feared bats in baseball, the Tigers have a stiff that is putting up Neifi Perez like stats over the past month.

I've seen that some people, mostly on the web, are happy that Francisco Liriano tore up his elbow last night. If there is one thing I hate in any fanbase, it's the celebrating of another's misfortune. It'd be the same as a ChiSox fan (I give Twins fans much more credit, Sox fans are just plain despicable) gloating over a severe injury to Justin Veralnder or Joel Zumaya. It's not right. People, we're better than that.

The Worldwide Leader it at it again. We are only 3-4 weeks into the season, and the organization that signifies all that is wrong with sports have already begun nicknaming college football weekends. This weeks moniker? "Seperation Saturday." Good Lord. Does every football weekend have to have some sort of story line? According to the Worldwide Leader, yes. Screw 'em. I don't need a TV network to tell me that there are some great matchups Saturday. Thank goodness the games worth watching aren't on the Worldwide...Well, I can't really say that because...

...Of the lame "ESPN on ABC" network cross promoting. There's no such thing as "ABC Sports" any longer, which is a damn shame. As hard as you try, the Worldwide Leader is so ubitquitous, it's impossible to avoid their web of medocrity. Roone Arledge spins in his grave, while Disney counts piles of cash on top of it.

To continue bashing the Worldwide Leader, let's go to the dot com version. Would Bill Simmons written the same article bashing Dennis Johnson, if he had been elected into the Basketball Hall of Fame? Hell, no. His hatchet job on Joe Dumars HOF induction was dispicable. I don't need to defend Dumars' accomplishments, they speak for themselves. The once great Simmons continues his rapid spin into irrelevancy. Yes, there is more than a bit of homer in me. But I'm not a highly paid feature columnist for the dot com entity for all that sucks in sports.

What's my biggest beef of all? That Woody Paige and Skip Bayless are still gainfully employed.

Tags: Detroit Tigers, ESPN, Bill Simmons, Sean Casey, Neifi Perez

Curly Howard = Slumpbuster

Quite a game to attend last night... A life preserver, snorkel and floaties would have been more appropriate attire than my old school Tiger logo t-shirt.

But 3 outfield assists by the always clutch Craig Monroe, a big home run by Marcus Thames, another huge game from The Gambler, and a game winning home run by Carlos Guillen, made nearly drowning worthwhile.

As the greatest Stooge ever, Curly Howard, came through damn well as a slumpbuster, he's going up again today. The Tiger bats will continue to awaken, thanks to Jerome "Curly" Howard.


And if anyone cares, I'll be away from the PC all day. So no posting, if any, till tonight.

Posting called on account of game

I'm headed see the Tiger game tonight, hoping to see their long dormant bats finally come alive. And hopefully reverse the bad karma local sports bloggers brought with them to Comerica a week ago.

No offense, guys.

So, just because, I'm posting a pitcure of the funniest man ever, Curly Howard.


The bats awaken tonight, thanks to Curly...

The only solution to what ails the Tigers is more home runs. But who's going to hit them?

The Tigers are broken. They are a very good team with a major, major flaw. We all know what that flaw is, and how it needs to be fixed. In fact, we've known about the Tigers achilles heel since the start of the season. The Tigers are a team full of free swinging, low on base percentage players, a team that can only score using the long ball, and lacks the ability to "Manufacture" runs. We also know that any real fix is not going to happen till the offeason. Not damn thing can be done at this point.

So now what? Nothing, really. About all that we can do is pray to the baseball home run gods. A Tiger can't change his stripes. Especially these Tigers. You can't expect career long free swingers like Pudge Rodriguez, Craig Monroe, and Magglio Ordonez to suddenly become patient OBP machines. You can tell, beg, plead to, threaten, and pray for them to take pitches, but it's not going to take. They're hackers, and it's worked for their entire careers. But they were often surrounded with more patient hitters. Unfortunately, Dave Dombrowski has assembled a team full of nothing but impatient hackers.

We can only hope that the hackers start connecting for the long ball again.

I'm not complaining, or blaming the GM. Dombrowski managed to improve the Tigers quicker than anyone ever thought possible. But with a patchwork lineup being put together mostly through trades and free agency, and held together with scotch tape, the Tigers ended up with what we see today. Great pitching, decent defense, and a team that lives and dies with the home run. A strange combination, considering the Tigers don't have any true big boppers, and play 81 games in a stadium that's not condusive to the home run.

For the most part, the pitching and defense have held up. Held up enough to hold on to the division lead. But the power well has run bone dry. This weekend's shellacking by the smoking hot Twins being the latest Tiger power outage. Sunday's 12-1 massacre was just rubbing salt in a gaping wound.

In today's News fishwrap, Lynn Henning talks about this obvious, but rarely mentioned in the MSM, problem.

A team with baseball's best pitching -- by far -- in 2006 could end up missing the playoffs for one glaring reason.

And before anyone says the Tigers' problem is hitting, think some more.

It's on-base percentage. It reflects a much deeper flaw in Detroit's offense than its .274 team batting average, which is ninth in baseball and, by itself, good enough to make a division winner of a team equipped with supreme pitching.

Well...Duh. I know, I know, the fishwraps have to write down to the lowest common denominator casual fans. At least he's bringing a little saber style talk to the masses. The masses that think batting average is the be all, end all.

Henning also talks about the suddenly missing power element to the Tigers offense.

First base, for example: No position more requires power and run production. The Tigers are 24th (Chris Shelton) and 48th (Sean Casey). Nineteen first basemen have more RBIs than the Tigers' combined RBIs (64) from Shelton and Casey.

How many of those one-run games from the past month might have turned around if Detroit had even middle-of-the-road power production from a first baseman?

The outfield -- another prime area for run production -- features a cleanup hitter (Ordonez) who is 30th in home runs and 12th in RBIs. Craig Monroe is 18th in home runs, but his .310 on-base percentage is low. Ordonez, at .340, is beneath the mean for top-shelf outfielders. Curtis Granderson presents a separate challenge: He leads the AL in strikeouts with 152 and is third overall behind Adam Dunn and Ryan Howard.

That's just outright ugly. Amazing for a 1st place team. We all know that there isn't anything that can be done, other than hoping the Tigers find their power stroke. Soon.

There have been signs of Ordonez finally finding a groove, and we know how clutch Monroe has been. But with the rest of the lineup, either thru inefectiveness (Thames, Casey, Shelton, Pudge, Inge, Granderson), injury (Guillen and Polanco), or just being plain awful (Neifi Perez), there's not a productive OBP or power guy to be found anywhere.

I'm not a fan of "Small ball." I hate the thought of giving up an out by bunting, unless a bunt is absolutely necassary. I'd rather see the Earl Weaver endorsed 3 run homer, than a small ball rally of a walk, a bunt, a ground ball to the right side, and a single. But...There is a place for that kind of 1 base at a time strategy. Late in games during a pennant race. To their extreme detriment, the Tigers rarely have the ability to get that guy on base, let alone move him over to scoring position.

Thankfully, there are only 18 games left in the season. The Tigers still have a 2 game lead, and a 3 1/2 game playoff cushion. The schedule finally gets easier. But it's not going to make one whit of difference if the Tigers' big guns continue to hit like pop guns. I'm NOT panicking. Yet...

But I am facing reality. If the Tigers don't hit for at least average power over the next 3 weeks, they won't make the playoffs.

The bats HAVE to come alive. Absolutely HAVE to...

I don't want to think about what will happen to the Tigers playoff chances if the their lineup remains so impotent.

Tags: Detroit, Detroit Tigers, playoffs, MLB, baseball

Rod Marinelli Monday presser cliche' report: Week 1

I'm going to try and make this a weekly feature. Since the local media began to broadcast the Lions Monday pressers live a few years ago, they've had more than their share of high level entertainment. From Marty's wacky colliquialisms (The bar is high, hairy high school stuff, snap-hold-kick) to Mooch's slickness and playing the blame game. (The reason for all the dropped passes were Harrington's throws, there were never any problems, things just needed to be "Cleaned up.")

Now we have Rod Marinelli manning the podium, facing the, as A2Y likes to call beat writers, deep diggers. I expect the Sgt. Marinelli to spew football cliche's left and right. Let's see how the Sarge does.

Most everything will be paraphrased, my comments in italicised brackets.

Opening remarks:

"A very winnable game, but just not good enough."

"No excuses, no explanations."

"It's all about winning."

"The hitting, the effort, were good, but that's expected."

"I won't throw any bouquets for hitting, and hustling, and playing hard." (Rod won't be sending flowers, anymore...)

(Mentions details several times...)

Football's about, "Practice, teaching, getting in the classroom and instructing." (Wait a sec. I thought he just said that football was about winning?)

"Get on the same page, saddle it up, get ready for next week."

(Tosses a bone to the fans. ) "They were unbelievable."

(In other words, Cliche', cliche', cliche'. Then even more...)

Time for the beat writer Q & A...

Old Shep asks about "Passion."
Sarge: "It's all about winning" (Wait a...He said...I give up) "Football is also about caring, developing habits, no deviation" (I guess football is about lots of things...)

Old dude O'Hara asks "How do you win?"
Sarge: "A great question" They have "No panic," (Now we see where Kitna got that mantra from) and a "Strong belief." Mentions more about teaching and practice. (What's the old proverb? Those that can do, those that can't, teach.)

Some dude in glasses, I have no idea who he is, asks about the defense looking different in the last Seattle posession.
Sarge: "Nothing different, we just need to make plays" (Make plays? HA! At least he didn't talk about teaching...Again.)

We now have a question asking about losing half time momentum.
Sarge: Brings up the Oakland debacle game, "Some played, some didn't, it's about every guy playing well." (Huh?)

The old sage O'Hara asks about the blown last offensive play, and the following punt. (That gained a whole 17 net yards because of a damn stupid touchback)
Sarge: "It was a miscommunication," he won't name names (I will. Shawn Bryson). The punt he wanted inside the 10. "He's (Nick Harris) outstanding, and will continue to be outstanding!" (OUSTSTANDING!)

Unknown voice asks, "Any second thoughts about not going for a FG?"
Sarge: "No" (Really, would it have made any difference? No.)

The Killer asks about going for it on 4th down. (After Bryson screwed the pooch.)
Sarge: "I did, in my mind. I got conservative" (Is that Mooch talking?) "I wanted a long field" (Good idea, save for that pesky thing called a TOUCHBACK!)

Nick Cotsonika asks about what they saw on the film in regard to the offense.
Sarge: "Little things" "Little details" "Details" "Every detail matters" "Hammeting details" "Details, don't be on the list" "Every detail does matter" (He's a detail fetishist. I swear he said "Details" 30 times this afternoon. DETAILS!)

Old Shep asks if there were enough touches for Kevin Jones.
Sarge: "He's a violent runner" "We'll contiunue to grow with him" (Uh, you didn't answer the question, Sarge.)

O'Hara...Again. Injuries?
Sarge: "We came out clean" (A very Moochlike soundbite. Now I just need to hear "Cleaned up.")

Unknown guy asks about missing 2 O-linemen.
Sarge: "They're professional football players with a job to do" (Professional is debateable, but I'll go with it.) "Get your HAT on the right guy, you force the defensive guy to BEAT 'cha!" (Unfortunately, the O-line blocked like they were wearing fedoras they didn't want to crease...)

Bearded dude, "How good was Shaun Rogers?"
Sarge: "He can be better" (Oooooh, snap...) "He was dominant" (Better than "Dominant?")

Killer follows up asking about Big Baby's rep for taking plays off.
Sarge: "That level of consistency was good" "I was very pleased" "Has a Motor and A work effort" (Talk about 2 old nuggets. He's just missing "Passion" and Details.") "Creates havoc and kaos" (But he still takes plays off...)

Killer again, what about Sims? Sims said he had an "Average" game.
Sarge: "I'm glad he said that" "His energy, effort, tackling around the ball.....was.....good" (That build up was for...good?) Says Sims needs to work on "Details" (Again with the details? From all the details they are missing, I'm surprised it wasn't a Seattle blowout!) But he has a "Motor," and has "Passion" (I knew he'd get those in somehow...)

Old Shep follows up, asks the Sarge if he'd call Sims' performance average.
Sarge: "You lose, you have to be average" (It's the Lions, I'll take"Average") "He played HARD football" (I wish his head was harder, to tell you the truth...)

Cotsonika asks about Sims and missed assignments.
Sarge: "He had some mental errors" (What about the "Details?") "There's so many details, it moves so fast..." (I KNEW IT!) "He has good football awareness" (Good thing, considering he's playing...Football!)

Cotsonika follows up with an agressiveness question.
Sarge: Defines defense as the following... "Speed" "Effffffort" "Sprint to the football" "Great Hustle" "Get off the ground" "Get off the blocks and go" "The want to" "Quickness" "Balance" (Sarge didn't miss a cliche', that was a high scoring sentence. But...What about the "DETAILS?")

The ancient O'Hara asks about Boss Bailey.
Sarge: "He just needs to keep playing football" (With his knees? Riiiight...) "Get his pads on" (With his knees? Riiiight...) "Game speed has got to be so fast..." (As compared to? Ramming speed? With his knees? Riiiight...)

The old dude O'Hara asks if he's (Boss) starting?
Sarge: "We'll let the week play out..." (With his knees? Riiiight...)

Unknown voice asks about eliminating penalties.
Sarge: "Do it in practice" "Demand and to do it right" "An environment under duress" "Do it over and over" "That's not what we want, that's not what we want" "Streessing the details" "No panic" (In other words, repetition. But that's not dramatic enough...)

He follows up with asking how do you break the starters from their habit of committing penalties?
Sarge: Goes off on a practice tangent. "We work on angles, work on leverage, that's what football's about" (Wait a sec, I thought it was about...Uhhh...Screw it. Never mind...) "Teach and teach and teach, repetition, simplicity" (Ahhh, now I get it. It's the "Do over" approach.)

The Killer...Again. he asks about the Roy Williams false start, if that's an example of what must drive Marinelli crazy...
Sarge: "Yes" "That's the details I'm talking about" "EVERY detail" (I'm detailed out, to be honest...) Sarge then holds his fingers a half inch apart, "That's what the NFL's about!" (Huh? I thought football was about...Hell, I'm really confused now...)

Unknown voice asks what was behind the decison to flip Redding and Hall?
Sarge: Corrects him, says it's actually "Kalimba and Hall" (Then the Sarge oes off on another defensive strategy tangent. He loves tangents...)

The supposedly retired Curt Sylvester, who must not have anything better to do, asked about the return game, what to do about it?
Sarge: "You know what you want, you make it clear" "No panic" "Get back to work" "Get on the (you guessed it) details"

Sarge: "Thanks men...And ladies."

Big Al: Thanks men...And ladies. That was OUTSTANDING!

Tags: Detroit, Detroit Lions, Rod Marinelli, NFL, football

Caught in a web of viral marketing, TWFE sells out

There was an intriguing email sitting in my inbox Thursday. I received a message from something called the "Sprint Ambassador Team," and the subject was "Sprint NFL Ambassador Invite."

I initially thought it was spam (Wouldn't any of you?), but once I did a quick Google search on "Sprint Ambassador," I quickly realized that the invite was legit. Sprint was offering me the opportunity to use and review their service, with access to all of their content, unlimited minutes, their EV-DO Power Vision network, everything absolutely free for 6 months, all in return for just my feedback. The phone is mine to keep after the 6 months are up.

It was hard to believe, almost too good to be true. A large corporation was targeting, not just A-list bloggers, but a small time blogger like myself? Me? Who gets as many hits in a week that the big time bloggers get in a few hours? Strange, but it's true...

The Sprint Ambassador Team recently visited Thewaynefontesexperience.blogspot.com and wants to invite you to participate in Phase II of our Ambassador Program.

The Sprint Ambassador Program is all about exploring our latest products and services and allows you to give direct feedback to Sprint. We recently launched Sprint NFL Mobile content and want to provide you with the full experience, at no charge. Sprint NFL Mobile enables you to track your players, earn bragging rights, and become a fantasy football fiend.

So what’s the deal?

As a qualified participant, we will send you one Sprint Power Vision (mobile broadband) phone and provide you with 6 months of all-access service (at no charge). In addition to NFL Mobile, you’ll have access to the Sprint Music Store, live TV broadcasts, gaming, and more. Yes, you will also have unlimited free calling and data service. It’s a pretty good deal and all we ask for in return is your candid feedback (you decide how much and how often).

A pretty good deal? That's putting it mildly. But I wasn't totally convinced, so I read their FAQ and the terms of service.

When I read the fine print at the site where Sprint asked me to register, it was clear, even through the legalese, that there are literally no strings attached. No contracts, no background checks, no deposit, nothing at all. Just to be sure, I contacted Sprint. I specifically asked them if I was required, or was being encouraged to, blog about my experiences. Sprint let me know that I'm not required to blog about the phone, they just ask that I give them feedback as to their NFL content.

There was one caveat. I was also told that nothing was guaranteed, and that they were just considering me for their ambassador program. Just considering me? Well...Damn. That news tempered my enthuiasm just a tad. After our email exchange, I figured that if something were to ever come of this, it would months down the line at best.

But on Saturday, I received another message from Sprint, with the subject title of "Welcome to the Sprint Ambassador Program!" What the Hell? The message got straight to the point...

Thanks again for your interest in the Sprint Ambassador Program!

This message confirms that you have successfully been chosen to participate.

You will be receiving your Power Vision phone package within the next couple of weeks.

Hot damn! Turns out they'll be sending me their Fusic LG 550 phone. From what I've read about the Fusic, and all the services I'll have access to, the Fusic will be one kick ass fun gadget to play with, as the features confirm.

• MP3 Player + FM Transmitter with External Controls
• Phone-as-Modem connectivity
• Sprint TV + Sprint Music Store enabled
• Bluetooth Capable
• 1.3 Mp Camera/Camcorder with Flash

For someone whose current cell phone is years out of date, worn out, and doesn't do anything other than make and receive calls, (and pretty badly at that) this is like manna from gadget heaven.

Obviously Sprint knows bloggers, and they realize that we are going to write about our experiences. So I'm absolutely aware that I'm being used as part of a viral adverising campaign. You know what? I have no issues with that at all. Why? First off, I'm not a member of the media. I don't review technology, so it's not payola. Not in my mind, anyway. And second, because Sprint has told me, and from reading other blogs that have been invited to join the ambassador program, that I can say ANYTHING I want about my use of their product. They have no editorial control over what I write. Trust me, if I have issues with Sprint, if the phone and/or services don't work as advertised, you all are going to hear about it. On the other hand, if I enjoy the hell out of the phone, and it works as it's supposed to, I'll say that as well.

This is a pretty gutsy program for Sprint to embark upon, using both well known, and unkown, bloggers to use and review their products. I'm guessing that Sprint targets specific markets, then looks for bloggers that post regualrly, and at least have a small regular readership. TWFE and myself must fit whatever critera they use. Not that I'm complaining... But when you really think about it, for a company that spends untold millions on advertising, how expensive is it for Sprint to give bloggers free phones, and let them write about it? Not as much as sponsoring NASCAR and the NFL, to say the very least.

Hell, I'm just happy that I'm going to have a new phone...

Once the phone arrives, I'll be sure to post regularly about my adventures in viral marketing. Hey, anything to take my mind off of the Tigers and Lions, right?

Tags: Sprint, blogging, NFL, cell phones, viral marketing

I had a great day yesterday...

...because I almost totally ignored yesterday's games.

I haven't read the Sunday papers, or checked anyhting online as of yet. I knew the Wolverines won, and that the Tigers lost another frustratingly close game at the Baggiedome. I still don't know the Sparty score, honest to God! There was a big NASCAR race late last night, the final race to set up the Chase for the Nextel Cup, and I have absolutely no idea of the results. I found out the hot chick in the Nike ads won the U.S. Open while laying in bed, listening to the news on the radio. As for this weeks "Game of the Century," Texas vs. tOSU? Saw a couple of plays with less than a minute left in the game. Those evil Golden Domers? I know it was a blowout by the evil axis, but I have no idea how they hammered JoePa. The Worldwide Leader? Never turned it on yesterday.

It was a nice break. Very nice. Spent it having fun with someone.

But I'm back, and it's now Sunday. Time to reimmerse myself in sports. Specifically the NFL. I expect the Lions to totally eradicate my good mood. I'm not going to say a thing about our struggling Tigers till we see how today's game plays out. I just want a split. Please?

Unfortunately, I expect to be railing about both the Tigers and Lions tonight and tomorrow.

Tags: Detroit, Detroit Tigers, Detroit Lions, Michigan Wolverines, NASCAR, baseball, football

Was last night's 7-1 Tiger win the biggest of the season?

I think so. What follows are my musings as to why...

First off, now there is no way the Twins can overtake the Tigers this weekend. The victory stalled what momentum the Twins may have had, and took the wind right out of their sails. Honestly, I can live with 1 win in this series. I'm perfectly happy with a split, which the way the Tigers were playing, I thought may have been the best case scenario. The Tigers take 3? I'll be flipping ecstatic, and with the remaining pitcher matchups, it's become a possibility.

A 5 game lead seems to be the point where everyone, fans, bloggers, the MSM alike, is still in a comfort zone. We won't hear EVERYBODY PANIC!!! if the lead continues to hover around that amount. As the Cigarette Smoking Man said yesterday, "I'll panic when my kid flunks math..." You have to absolutely LOVE Jim Leyland.

The Dmitri Young release didn't seem to faze the Tigers one bit. They put the Twins down early and kept them there. From all the accounts that are leaking out in today's fish wraps, it looks as if Young was becoming a major liability, dragging the team down with him. Definitely an addition by subtraction move, and it may already be paying dividends.

One dividend being that Marcus Thames stepped into the DH role, and didn't miss a beat. He'll be relied upon heavily now that he's the full time DH. Thames passed the first test with flying colors with a 2 run homer and a single.

Justin Verlander looks as he found his 2nd wind. Or 3rd, considering we are in September, and in uncharted rookie territory. Verlander just may have locked up the "Rookie of the Year" award with his dominating performance. One caveat though. I thought the Marlboro Man pitched Verlander a little deeper into the game than I would have liked. But when you consider that it's a long series, and you are playing your closest pursuer, I'm sure Leyland wanted to save the bullpen as much as possible.

Did Curtis Granderson find the same wind as Verlander? He's hitting the ball hard again. And striking out. A lot. I can live with the K's if he has rediscovered his batting stroke. His leadoff home run was a mighty large statement to the Twinkies. If Granderson's playing up to his considerable capabilities, I feel that much better about the Tigers finishing well, rather than stumbling to the finish.

I'm not going to say anything about Neifi Perez, as I was taught that if you can't say anything nice... But if Omar Infante, with another very nice performance at the plate last night (Why don't we try to ignore that throw in the 9th, OK?), hasn't given Leyland the confidence to leave him in the lineup when Carlos Guillen comes back, nothing will.

Speaking of which, the Tigers beat the Twins with a makeshift middle of the infield. That those backup middle infielders turned 4 double plays just rubbed salt in the wound.

Another day has passed, the Tigers still lead the divison, and time is becoming a huge factor in helping their playoff chances. On the other hand, that lack of time, not the Tigers, has become the Twins and White Sox biggest foe. If the Tigers can string together just a few wins, a short winning streak of 4 or 5 games, the Sox and Twins are playing for the wild card. Even a 10 game stretch of 7-3 or so could lock up the division. But with so little time left in the season, even treading water works in the Tigers' favor.

Last night's victory was big time, it cannot be more emphasized. So when you consider all of the above, a Tiger win tonight could be even bigger, a dagger in the heart of the Twins.

Tags: Detroit, Detroit Tigers, Minnesota Twins, Jim Leyland, baseball, MLB